


To Sir, With Love

by orphan_account



Series: To Make You Feel My Love [1]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Dirk's family died in a fire, F/F, Jade's grandpa died in a freak gun accident, Jake's grandma died exploring, M/M, Mom actually changes her last name to Lalonde to match Rose and Roxy, Orphans AU, idk what it was before but she's Miss Lalonde now, mentions of intimacy, the lalondes' mom died giving birth to Dave and Rose, their dad committed suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-01
Updated: 2014-11-01
Packaged: 2018-02-23 13:08:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,758
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2548613
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>Your name is Dave Lalonde, and Dirk Strider is seven when you meet him. </i>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>From the moment they meet, Dave is fixated on Dirk. Their lives from that point through his eyes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	To Sir, With Love

**Author's Note:**

> _If you wanted the moon_  
>  I would try to make a start  
> But I, would rather you let me give my heart  
> To Sir, with love
> 
>  
> 
> \--To Sir, With Love - Lulu

Your name is Dave Lalonde, and Dirk Strider is seven when you meet him. Logically, that means you're five at the time--but that doesn't matter, not really. Dirk is seven and he's your sister's age and he's offering you his hand.

"You look kind of scared," he explains, looking at you and your siblings. "I've been here for a while, so I know the ropes. I can help you, if you'd like?"

You nod, not caring what the girls think. He lets you wrap your fingers around his, and you follow him up the stairs. You're still marveling over how cool he is as he begins your tour, sunlight glinting off his shades.

The orphanage, you learn, is small but spacious. There are enough kids to fill it, but not enough to overflow it. It's better than Roxy expected for the three of you.

You will have to split up--girls and boys have separate dorms, but Dirk promises Roxy that he'll look after you when it comes time to fall asleep. He shows you the important rooms--bathrooms, dining room, kitchen, study room, lounge, the works. Your favorite is the warm room with the big fireplace. You're served dinner and put through a bath, and it's close enough to your old schedule that you aren't sad.

Soon enough you do have to split up and go to bed, and once you're settled in, you're hit again by your loss. You sniffle, covering your face. Roxy and Rose aren't here to cry with, they're not here to hold you and to be held. You're doing your best to stay quiet, but a gentle hand on your shoulder lets you know you've failed--Dirk peers down at you, glasses missing, and wordlessly crawls in with you.

You're still clinging to him in the early hours of the morning when the nuns wake you, sleep having overtaken you hours ago.

Things get easier. The grief isn't so strong. You have nightmares, but he wakes you when you have them. The nuns stop going to his bed to wake him, and wake the two of you together.

You start to believe that Dirk can fix anything.

It isn't that you never see your sisters, but they run with their own circles now. You're no longer teased and called the Baudelaires--no, everyone's taken to calling you Dirk's shadow, and you're fine with that. Dirk's almost eight years old, and you cling to his shirttail like a lifeline. You're no longer Roxy-Rose-and-Dave, you're Dirk-and-Dave. In the orphanage's huge games of make-believe, you're his knight. The other children have learned in the past three-fourths of a year that he's your walking, talking security blanket, and that that's the way the two of you like it.

-

When he's eight, growing up brings with it a gift and several curses. You go to school each day clinging to Dirk's hand, but he can't protect you in class. During playtime, you're called a freak, a demon, hellspawn. Even your teacher flinches from your eyes sometimes. During recess, you count the seconds until the other classes and grades get to come out and play. In the short minutes it takes for you to find Rose, you're hit and kicked and pushed around. By the time Dirk comes out of the lunchroom, your tears have dried.

There comes a day that the bullies don't let you find your sister. They're all around you, hidden from the teacher by the tiny climbing wall on the playground, and they kick you until your ribs are aching. They have you on your feet again, pushing you from one to the next until you feel sick and dizzy.

You stop when the person who catches you wraps their arms around your shoulders and holds you there. You tremble until you look up.

You've never seen Dirk so furious, not even when Caliborn was playing a little rough and ripped the arm off his beloved doll (puppet, you remind yourself, Cal is a puppet).

"You're never going to do this again," he tells the small group.

"Who's going to stop us?" the ringleader sneers.

Blood drips from your nose--when did it start bleeding?--as he replies, "I'll cut ten minutes off my lunch if I have to, just to make sure."

They grumble and walk away, and he uses the bottom of his shirt to stop up your nose. On the way home that afternoon, he holds your hand extra tight.

When you head to bed that night, he hands you a pair of sunglasses, ever so careful with them. "My big brother gave these to me," he tells you, settling them on the bridge of your nose and adjusting them until they sit straight on your face. "He found out that there were people at school who thought my eyes were weird, and said these would help. They're dark enough to hide the color of your eyes, and sharp enough to deter people from trying to hit you. I outgrew them, so you can use them until I find another pair for you."

No one hits you anymore, but you have a sneaking suspicion it's because Dirk makes a point to sit right beside the window after that. Still, you treat the glasses like they're holy--you fold them carefully and set them under the bed where they won't be stepped on (just like Dirk does), take them out first thing every morning and put them on (just like Dirk does), and take them off when you even _think_ you might get dirty (just like Dirk does).

You love your sisters, but you think Dirk's in a tie with them now. You've never read a comic book, but you're certain Dirk's a superhero.

-

His thirteenth birthday (and your eleventh, you suppose) passes with a new kid being brought to the orphanage. Roxy has discovered how wonderful Dirk is, and hangs off his every word just like you do--and so does this new kid. Dirk takes him under his wing much like he did you, but there's something different in the way he treats him.

You don't like it.

Jake is nice, you guess. A little silly--a lot silly--but nice. He's taller than you, and broader than you, and he smiles often--and when he smiles, Dirk smiles too. He tries to hide it, but you see. He tries to act like he doesn't care, but you see how he lights up when he's the first person Jake notices in a room.

He stops curling up with you at night, and it makes you want to cry again. Sometimes you hear the two of them speaking softly back and forth when everyone has gone to bed, and it's only the tears you can hear in Jake's voice that keep you from being jealous.

Not that you don't have your fair share of upset after that, too, but his wounds are the worse of the two of you. You understand why he's so sad--you don't understand why _you_ are.

-

Fifteen gives understanding. You're thirteen and oh, were people always so fucking hot? Was _Dirk_? How did you not notice?

They're dating, have been for months, and you hate yourself for being envious. People think you're Dirk's brother, and here you are, pining after him like a love-struck schoolgirl.

(Rose knows--she always knows. How does she know? She introduces you to Jade, Jake's cousin, who shows up in tears mid-winter. Her birthday is two days before yours, and her laughter lights up the room--and that dark place in your chest. You teach her the ropes the way Dirk did, and it helps a little that you're following in his footsteps.)

You meet John through Jade, and your friendship with him is similar to your friendship with Dirk--strong, unwavering, and dedicated, with just enough unrequited crush to crush your feelings.

-

Sixteen brings shouting. It brings spats. It brings your first kiss (thanks, Harley), and it brings something you've never seen before.

Dirk crawls in with you again, and there are tears on his cheeks and in his eyes. He explains in hitched breaths and whispered words that Jake is tired of him, is tired of how overbearing he is, and how bossy, and how meticulous. You pet his hair, you promise you'll never tire of him, and you plot Jake's demise.

Jade talks you out of that last one. She vows to go back to her grandpa's place and grab her guns if you even try. You whine and moan about it, but you're secretly a little glad--Jake's shorter than Dirk, but bigger than you in every way he can be, and you know he could knock your lights out.

Slowly, Dirk stops being sad in the evenings. Slowly, he begins to cuddle up to you simply because he can, and your life returns to how it should be.

John tells Karkat rather loudly that he's not gay. You file the information away and tell yourself not to hold your breath.

-

Seventeen means the wrath of the nuns and the adoption of your sisters. Dirk and Jake's relationship had been well-known among the children, but it's only when they catch Dirk holding the hand of his current boyfriend (the very same Caliborn that ripped poor Cal's arm off) that the nuns find out.

They come at him from every angle. They hiss at and pray for and--you can't believe you even have to say this--exorcize him. They call you in before you know what's happening and ask you _questions_. "You won't lie to us, will you, David? Has he ever...touched you? Inappropriately? Has he ever tried to get you to touch him?"

You laugh at them as you shake your head--no, no, god no--no matter how badly you may have wanted him to. You don't tell them _that_ , but they let you go, still wondering if you were lying. He starts having to sneak over to lay down with you, and eventually, you just make a pallet on the floor every night to sleep in, because you're technically not sleeping in his bed, or he in yours.

They stop trying to stop you. You get to spend the night at the Egberts' place for the first time. Rose and Roxy are adopted by John's dad's girlfriend. John gets you a pair of shades for your birthday. Life goes on.

-

Your name is Dave Lalonde, and your best friend's dad wants to adopt you. You're four months away from being sixteen, and Dirk tells you you should go. "I'll be out of here soon," he reasons. "I don't want you to be alone." You want to argue that you'd have Jade. You want to argue that that's still four months that he'd be there without you. You want to tell him that you don't want to give up any time with him.

You wind up saying yes because of Dirk's encouragement and John's begging.

Life changes drastically. You end up crawling in with John every night, unable to sleep without someone beside you. You learn what well-seasoned food tastes like. You do better in school. Dirk spends the night, and turns eighteen. Dirk moves into the dorms for adult orphans who're still in school, and gets a job so he can afford an apartment.

You find out, after lots of awkward morning wood, that John might not be a homosexual, but that he's not gonna turn down a good handjob or a pretty boy to kiss.

-

By the time Dirk's nineteen, you've grown a metaphorical pair. Lots of fun with John has been had, as has a breakup with John, and your friendship hasn't suffered at all. You start calling Mr. Egbert 'Dad.' Dirk visits often, and you go on little outings--he works through the holiday break, and you go iceskating together on his free days. He buys you hot chocolate and holds your hand.

He doesn't correct anyone when they tell you you're a cute couple, and neither do you.

You build your first legitimate snow fort, and you, John, and Dirk all three are sick for days afterward. Dirk's bitter about having to call in to work, but Dad's more than happy to take care of all three of you instead of just you and John. By the end of it all, even Dirk is calling Mr. Egbert 'Dad', and you think Dad wishes he'd adopted you both.

It's a white Christmas, and everyone exchanges awesome gifts. Dirk flips his shit over the gigantic sewing kit from you and the Egberts, and the (ridiculously expensive) headphones he gives you only leave your person for school and showers.

On Dirk's graduation day, you drag him down and kiss him like you've wanted to for four years. He kisses back twice as hard, and it takes John coughing awkwardly into his hand several minutes later to break you apart.

He then laughs and calls the two of you idiots. Dad bakes Dirk a cake that says, 'I'm proud of you for graduating'. He turns right around and bakes one for the pair of you that says, 'I'm proud of you for finding out you have mutual feelings for each other.' The piping is fire engine red and creamsickle orange, and it's absolutely perfect.

John pisses his pants laughing when you take the first piece you cut and smash it into Dirk's face like newlyweds do. He can't breathe when Dirk turns around and does the same thing.

-

Twenty for Dirk means a lot of embarrassment for you. You're eighteen, so Dad sits you down and gives you the safe sex talk. He also gives you condoms of all sizes, and you and John have an absolute _ball_ blowing them up and drawing hilarious shit on them. Your birthday present from Dirk was a ridiculously tricked-out iPhone, and you snapchat him a video of yours and John's painstakingly colored Minion condom-balloon, and he snaps back a video of him laughing.

You wish you'd downloaded the app that let you save your snaps. You could listen to that laugh forever and never grow tired of it.

Your relationship is progressing slowly, but surely. John buys you a metric shitton of lube the _day_ he turns eighteen, and makes a point of packing it for you when you throw together a bag for a week at Dirk's during the summer.

In revenge, you google 'world's smallest condoms' and buy him three packs, gift-wrapping them painstakingly perfectly and writing 'dont forget to be safe' in the card you give him.

Dirk finds the lube when he's digging in your bag for your pajamas because you'd forgotten them before you got in the shower. You don't go very far during that trip, but he teaches you about the magic of your prostate and you learn how much you like letting Dirk control how you give him a blowjob.

You and Dirk both get tested, and you decide together that hey, you're clean--who fucking needs condoms anyway.

-

By the time he's twenty-one, Dirk's fucked you more times that you can count. It's absolutely fucking glorious. You've grown used to having to cover up hickeys, but you always brush your fingers across them reverently when you wash away the makeup in the shower.

(You don't bother covering them up after showers--John makes a game out of seeing how many times he can poke them before you absolutely snap and steal all the covers.)

You've also grown used to going to visit Dirk on the weekends, curling up on his futon and watching movies until you fall asleep. You have silly conversations and serious ones, and for your birthday, he gets you a plain stainless steel anklet with a matching padlock. John thinks it's cute because the lock is a heart and Dirk has the key--you absolutely melt because you know it's a collar.

(For his birthday, you buy him a replica sword from an anime he likes. He kisses you until John wolf-whistles at you and starts howling. It's perfect, and so is the thank-you sex which John is thankfully not present for.)

When you graduate, Dirk returns the favor of kissing you in front of all of your classmates, dipping you and making your stupid hat fall off. He's only one-upped by Rose's girlfriend proposing at the party afterwards.

Dad is tearful when he helps you move your things into Dirk's apartment, but so are you. The four of you pack up John's things and send him off to the apartment near his soon-to-be college campus, and you have one last sleepover for old times' sakes. Rose and Jade bring silly string, and you spurt apple juice out of your nose when Dad pulls the classic bucket-over-the-door trick on John one last time.

(He gets you too, the next morning when you wake up later than everyone else. Rose is making drowned rat jokes for the rest of the day)

-

You're twenty years old, and your sisters are both engaged. Rose's wedding will be in the spring and Roxy's next fall. Your classes at the Uni are going well, and Dirk's graduating a year early the month before Rose's wedding. You DJ together on the weekends and he books you as the Striders--your stomach does happy little flips, and you kiss his lights out the first time you see it on the club's listings.

The manager, Rufioh, kind of freaks out when he sees you kiss Dirk before a show. He asks if you know that incest is illegal, and the two of you laugh until you're red in the face. "My last name is Lalonde," you wheeze eventually, "I'm not a Strider, but it's easier to book us as a unit."

"Well," Dirk chimes in, sobering just a little, and grins over at you. "You're not a a Strider _yet_."

Your stomach flips and your face flushes, and it's Rufioh's turn to laugh.

(Nitram is the greatest ever. He puts an end to the girls trying to proposition you two after the shows by casually mentioning in two separate introductions--weeks apart--that the two of you are, sadly, off the market. Both times, Dirk brushes his fingers against the bracelet he'd gotten you for your anniversary, and you find yourself wondering if the next collar he gets you might be a ring to match the rest of the set.)

Rose is giving you meaningful looks all throughout the summer and fall, and you're just absolutely confounded as to why.

-

The government hires Dirk to build robots just before his twenty-third birthday. With the pay they gave him for the prototype he's used as his application, he takes you on a cruise. He later admits that he'd chosen a sunny location so sex on the beach could be a thing.

You tick it off the list, and vow never to let sand come anywhere near your naked body again.

You get back the week before your birthday, and Rufioh sighs when he learns that you'll be DJ-ing alone now and then. He soon learns that he has nothing to fear--you might not be able to spit out original lyrics as well or rapidly as Dirk does, but you can mix a mean track.

You spend Christmas with the Egberts, as is now the tradition, and Dirk makes a point to drag you under the mistletoe whenever he can. Rose is still giving you little glances like she knows something you don't, and John tries to distract you from them. Jade finally gets her hands on Grandpa Harley's guns, and has a girlfriend she's teaching to use them. Roxy spikes the eggnog a little _too_ much, but you steer clear.

You're glad, because Dirk proposes to you on Christmas morning, and it would've sucked to cry with a hangover. You now understand Rose's pointed looks.

When you finally go back home, Dirk sucks a collar of hickeys around your neck and clasps your hands tight as he makes love to you. You squeeze back just firmly, and whimper, 'yours, yours, yours,' against his temple until you can't form words anymore.

(Deep down, you know that that's exactly why he went from slow and careful to slow and rough, and you're thankful for every ache in your body when the two of you roll out of bed to get in the shower afterward. It's a little manipulative to make use of the fact, but it's also a little manipulative of him to edge you until you're begging, but that's never stopped him and it won't stop you either.)

-

Dad's crying as he walks you down the aisle. Rose looks stunning in her groomsmaid dress (okay, bridesmaid, you know you're the bride here), and John grins at you before gazing curiously across at your fiancé's best man. Jake looks dapper as ever, Roxy and Jane's hands clasped as they stand by his side. Jade's wiggling her eyebrows at you, and you offer her a smile in response, bracing yourself a little bit for what you're sure will be--

Fuck, 'a punch in the gut' isn't strong enough. Dirk looks fucking fantastic--but when doesn't he? His shades are tucked away in his suit pocket, just like yours are, and his amber eyes are filled with a warmth usually only reserved for when the two of you are alone.

You suppose that's the entire point of a wedding, though, isn't it? To let everyone know precisely how in love you are.

His vows are beautiful, and meticulously perfectly worded--which is just like him, and you love it. You don't realize you're crying until he lifts his hand and brushes his thumb under your eye like he used to when you'd have nightmares, and you offer him your best watery smile. Your vows are earnest--honest, raw, sentimental--and you take his hands in yours when his eyes well up as well.

His hands are shaking as he slides the ring on your finger, but so are yours when you do the same for him.

When he kisses you, the room explodes into cheering, but you can't hear it until you pull away, and even then it's white noise as you focus on the smile on his face, the affection in his eyes.

Your name is Dave Strider, and you're twenty-one years old. When you were five, you met Dirk Strider.

Today, you married him.

**Author's Note:**

> Might write this from Dirk's POV and tack it on as a second chapter, might not. How the hell did I write this in three hours? I've never been so proud of my own writing.


End file.
